Can't Let Go - A Contemporary BWWM Romance Read online

  I heard her rustling around in her room. Then I heard her footsteps travel down the hall until the front door opened and closed. She was gone.

  I switched on some cheesy eighties internet radio station on my phone and danced around in the bathroom as I put my face on. I was going for a smoldering look that night, complete with a smoky eye and lip-plumping gloss.

  I dried my hair until it was voluminous and then ironed some lose barrel waves into it. I was going for sexy, catwalk, lingerie model that night. I hoped he liked the va-va-voom version of me.

  I slipped into a short, slinky black dress with a plunging neckline and added a simple pair of diamond stud earrings. They were from Antoine, actually, but Kevin didn’t have to know that.

  One spritz of my uber-expensive perfume later and I was good to go. I glanced at the alarm clock on my side table. It was 7:45. He was going to arrive at any minute, and I could hardly stand the anticipation. Two weeks had been two weeks too long.

  I switched my belongings from my big leather bag into a black satin clutch and took a seat in the living room as I waited. No sooner did I sit down was there a knock on the door. He was early, which was a nice surprise.

  I shot myself a glance in the mirror, placing a rogue hair back where it belonged, then opened the door.

  The look on his face was priceless when he saw me, and the arm he was holding a dozen pink roses in quickly fell to his side. His lips curled into a sweet little smile as he walked in.

  “These are for you,” he said as he handed me the flowers.

  “Oh, thank you,” I said. “How nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.”

  I leaned in and kissed his cheek as I retrieved the bouquet from his hands.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said as I clicked my way to the kitchen. My heels were going to be a bitch to wear that night, but they were perfect with my dress and I refused to change. I just hoped we weren’t going to do a lot of walking.

  I put the flowers in a vase and returned to Kevin, who hadn’t left his spot by the front door. His hands were resting casually in the pockets of his black dress slacks. He looked so sweet just standing there waiting for me.

  “Ready?” I said with a huge smile on my face. I didn’t mean to act so excited, but I could hardly contain myself.

  Outside, his car was parked right by the front door. It was a black Crown Victoria with tinted windows.

  “On call this weekend again?” I asked. It was clearly his work car.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Fingers crossed we don’t get interrupted tonight.”

  His car smelled like a million different things, stale food, leather and cologne among them. I couldn’t put my finger on one singular scent to save my life. It was obvious that he pretty much lived in the thing.

  As we rumbled along from stoplight to stoplight, we finally landed at a quaint little Italian place on the south side of town.

  “I rarely come out here,” I said as he found a parking spot. “I always forget about all the little restaurants over this way.”

  “Have you ever been to Lessandro’s?” he asked.

  “Nope, never.”

  “Oh, my gosh,” he said as he rubbed his stomach. “It’s amazing. You’ll love it. I’m drooling now just thinking about their breadsticks.”

  The hostess seated us at a quiet little table by the front window. It was definitely a casual place that didn’t require a stunning, low cut dress—or diamond earrings, for that matter—but it was nice.

  “Kevin!” an older, balding Italian man yelled from the back of the restaurant. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

  His accent was authentic Italian, and Kevin stood up to hug him. The old man cupped Kevin’s face and kissed each cheek. It was adorable.

  “Who’s this bella you got here, eh?” he asked as he smiled at me.

  “This is Rashida,” he said. “Rashida, this is Giuseppe. This is his place.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I said as I extended my hand.

  Giuseppe pulled me to a standing position and wrapped his meaty arms around me, giving me a bear hug. He was one of the most genuine strangers I’d ever met.

  “What are we having tonight, eh?” Giuseppe asked.

  “Let’s start with the calamari,” Bennett said as he turned to me. “You like calamari?”

  I nodded. I hated calamari, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I could choke down a few bites if I had to.

  “I’ll take the classic lasagna,” he continued.

  “Mwah,” Giuseppe said as he kissed is fingers. “Excellent choice. Mama will be happy.”

  “May I please have the chicken parmesan?” I asked. “With grilled zucchini on the side?”

  “Yes, bella,” he said as he took our menus and walked away.

  “See what I mean about this place?” he said. “Not only is the food incredible, but the service. You can’t get this kind of service anywhere else in town.”

  “They treat you like family,” I replied. “That’s a good way to keep your customers coming back.”

  Giuseppe dropped off a warm basket filled to the top with fresh, buttery garlic bread.

  “Oh, Rashida,” Kevin said as the steam rolled off the top of the bread. “You’ve got to try these.”

  I reached in and grabbed a slice of bread, nearly burning my fingers, and placed it on my bread plate.

  “I better let it cool a bit,” I said. He’d already begun noshing on a slice, burnt tongue be damned.

  Our food came out in record time, most likely because of Kevin’s apparent VIP status, and we went to town. Giuseppe even gave us a bottle of white wine to share, on the house.

  Two glasses later I was starting to feel a little bit of a buzz, and I could tell I was losing a bit of self-control.

  “Were you at Haiku last Saturday?” I blurted. I couldn’t resist. My filter had vanished after my second glass of wine.

  He stopped mid-bite, and looked up at me.

  “Yeah,” he replied.

  “I thought I saw you,” I said. “I was there with LaLa and her new boyfriend, Demarius. Well, I don’t know if they’re dating. They’re together twenty-four seven, so it seems that way.”

  “Ah, I see,” he said as he resumed eating.

  “Did you see me?” I asked. I knew I should’ve stopped while I was ahead. He probably thought I was trying to pick a fight.

  “I don’t think so,” he said. I could tell he was lying, but I knew better than to say anything. It didn’t matter. We were there on a date now. I’d said what I wanted to say.

  “So how was work this week?” I asked, changing the subject. “I can definitely tell wedding season is upon us at my job. My inbox has been flooded with engagement and wedding announcements all week.”

  “Same old,” he said. “Hunting the bad guys and putting them right where they belong.”

  “Your job must be so interesting,” I said as I gazed across the table at his gorgeous face. “Something different every day.”

  “You’d be surprised at how mundane it can get,” he said. “And when you just can’t crack a case… days like that suck. But the days when we find the perp, nothing compares to that.”

  “Well, I’m still fascinated by what you do,” I said. “It’s a tough gig. Nothing fluffy like what I do.”

  He chuckled. “Well, if you want to put it that way, sure. It’s not fluffy at all.”

  We finished our meals and he paid the tab. We exited Lessandro’s to find the night air to be unusually warm for February.

  “Early spring this year?” I asked. “It’s so nice out.”

  The sky was crystal clear and lit with a billion twinkling stars. The night couldn’t have been any more perfect than it already was. I hoped and prayed he wouldn’t just take me straight home. I didn’t want our time together to end any earlier than it had to.

  “Want to walk for a bit?” he asked.

  I remembered my painfully beautiful, yet perfect shoes that I just had to wear th
at night.

  “Sure,” I said. When it came down to ending the night early or mending swollen, blistered feet the next day, I chose the latter.

  We strolled leisurely up and down the street that housed Lessandro’s and a myriad of other mom and pop shops. The streets were almost vacant aside from a few other young couples who knew about that hidden gem of a neighborhood. At times it was just us and no one else. It was like we had the whole world to ourselves.

  He grabbed my hand about halfway into our walk and he pulled me closer. His hands were soft, not calloused like most guys’ hands. The second I moved closer into his space, I could smell the cologne radiating off his warm body. It was different from the time before, and I never wanted to forget that scent.

  “We should probably head out,” he said as he looked at his watch a short time later. “I’ve had a long week and I am beat.”

  “Yeah,” I said as I tried to hide the insane amount of disappointment coursing through me. “Me too.”

  I wasn’t tired at all. I was wide awake. I wanted to hang out with him all night. But I had to play it cool.

  He dropped me off at my apartment and walked me to my door like the old-fashioned gentleman he had shown himself to be.

  Standing at my door, he locked his chocolate brown eyes onto mine and leaned in for a peck on the lips. It was the sweetest, most innocent kiss I’d ever received.

  “I’d like to see you again,” he said.

  “Me too,” I replied with a smile. I decided to leave it at that.

  I slipped my key into the door and entered my quiet apartment. The second I shut it behind me, I spun around to watch him through the peephole, but he was already gone. I lingered for a bit, hoping that maybe he’d come in and ask for a nightcap or something. But he never did.

  I kicked off my shoes and my feet ached against the naked air of the apartment. I could feel the blisters on my heels start to burn, but it was all worth it. I’d do it again and again if I had to.

  CHAPTER 8

  My alarm went off around seven o’clock Saturday morning. I’d completely forgotten to shut it off in preparation for the weekend.

  “Ugh,” I groaned. I reached over and slammed the snooze button just to get it to shut the hell up. Then I clicked it off and tried to go back to sleep. Saturdays were for sleeping in. I’d be damned if I let a little annoying buzzer prevent that from happening.

  I had barely dozed off when I heard another buzz coming from my nightstand.

  “I thought I turned you off,” I whined as I reached over and hit my snooze button again, but the buzzing didn’t stop. It wasn’t my alarm clock. It was my phone.

  I reached over to grab it, and through blurry morning eyes, I tried to make out the text message displayed across the screen.

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

  It was from Kevin. I rubbed my eyes to get them to focus a little better and immediately started typing a response.

  Wait, I thought. I should wait. Don’t respond right away.

  I took a few deep breaths, now fully awake, and climbed out of bed. I made myself brush my teeth and wash my face. I took my time. Every second counted. I felt giddy at the fact that he wanted to hang out again and so soon at that. After a solid ten minutes or so, I began formulating a response.

  NOT MUCH.

  I sounded so lame, but I really didn’t care. I wasn’t going to pretend like I was doing something and miss the chance to hang out with him.

  WANT TO COME OVER LATER?

  He replied within seconds. I waited a minute or two before replying with a simple, “Sure.”

  COME OVER AROUND NOON.

  The next five hours were going to be tortuous, I just knew it. I couldn’t help but scratch my head at why he was texting me so early and why he’d want me to come hang out when he was on call. I was sure he had his reasons, though, and I decided not to pry. The only thing that mattered was that he wanted to hang out with me.

  I padded down the hall in search of LaLa, but the apartment was silent. She was usually an early riser, always up before me. If she wasn’t up yet, it probably meant she wasn’t home. I could only assume she stayed the night at Demarius’s place again.

  I couldn’t text Amaya. She was probably out all night DJing. She tended to sleep in until at least noon or one on the weekends. I’d learned that the hard way when I went out with her one night and we ended up crashing at her friend’s place. She was my ride, and I had to wait for her to wake up to take me home since I didn’t have enough cash for a cab. I never made that mistake again.

  I decided to go for a quick jog around the neighborhood to clear my mind and prepare myself for the day. I was already on cloud nine, but I knew a few extra endorphins circulating through me would be the icing in the cake. I slipped on my black runner’s tights, hot pink tank top, and obnoxiously bright neon shoes and hit the pavement.

  I wasn’t an avid runner by any means, but sometimes a quick mile or two was all I needed to get that runner’s high.

  I came back after about fifteen minutes and busted out a few squats and crunches. New relationships always made me want to suddenly pretend that I gave a damn about working out. The truth was I hated sweating.

  I wiped the sweat off my brow and munched on a juicy red apple before polishing off a bottle of water and hitting the shower. LaLa must have gone grocery shopping that week, and for that I was grateful.

  Taking my time getting ready the rest of the morning, I couldn’t help but check my phone in regular intervals just in case Kevin had decided to call and cancel on me. I kept thinking the rug was going to be pulled out at any moment. He seemed too good to be true. Guys like him didn’t chase girls like me. It was usually the other way around.

  That day, I decided to go casual. I wrapped my long, dark hair up into a top knot, wore minimal makeup, and pulled on a tight pair of skinny jeans and a faded jersey t-shirt. I was going more for girl-next-door. I wanted him to feel like I was the girl he could just chill with on the weekends.

  By 11:30, I’d made my way outside and was walking towards his place. It was only about a mile away, which was nice. The weather was perfect thanks to the unusually warm February we were having.

  Spring was just around the corner, and it was my absolute favorite season. It was all flowers, chirping birds and new beginnings. But it was also going to be Antoine and Ayla’s wedding.

  I’d managed to go another day without thinking too much about him, but sometimes I just couldn’t help it. He’d creep into the corners of my mind when I least expected it.Antoine

  I thought about how once he was married, that would be the end of us for sure. I knew I’d been the one to end things, and poorly at that, but I always sort of thought of Antoine as my fallback guy. If it didn’t work out with anyone else, I could always go back to him. I never in a million years dreamed that he’d move on so fast and with someone I couldn’t even compete with.

  Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Kevin’s building. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I might run into Antoine or Ayla. My palms began to sweat a little and my heart raced. The last thing I wanted was for Antoine to think I was stalking him.

  I took a good look around to make sure neither of them were in sight. Then I gripped the banister and climbed the stairs towards the front door. I yanked it open and was immediately greeted with a burst of warm air from the empty hallway.

  “Phew,” I said to myself once I realized the coast was clear. There was no sign of Antoine or Ayla anywhere.

  I knocked on Kevin’s door and waited. And waited. And waited. I knocked again. I hoped he hadn’t forgotten about me. I was going to be both pissed and embarrassed if that was the case. Maybe he’d gotten called into work and forgot to cancel our plans?

  I could feel my heartbeat quicken at the thought of being stood up. If I had to walk away alone like some loser and happened to run into Antoine, I’d be mortified.

  “Hey!” Kevin said as the door burst open. He startled m
e.

  “Hi,” I said with a sweet smile as I walked in.

  The place looked spotless, and I could smell a scented candle burning somewhere. It smelled like vanilla and musk, perfect for a guy’s place.

  Kevin was wearing a navy blue college hoodie and a pair of straight leg, pale denim jeans. His dark hair was free of any product. He looked just as casual as I did, thank goodness.